Book Review: Nurture Shock

Popular science books are frequently more popular than scientific. Not Nurture shock – it boasts a 87 page appendix with acknowledgments, scientific notes and references to published articles. A few spot checks of the references against the well written and compelling content in the main body of the book were satisfactory, so I feel comfortable that I get a summary of the current science on

• Praise: In a nutshell, you should praise for effort, not for “intrinsics.” After all, what’s the child to do if a trait like “intelligence” is set and can’t be influenced? Give up? Exactly!

• Sleep: Children need theirs. Even mild sleep deprivation can have major negative consequences like lowered intellectual performance, depression, ADHD, and obesity.
  

• Prejudice: If you want your child to avoid racial stereotypes, it is not enough that you do not have them. You will need to talk about it. Very directly.

• Lies: How do you avoid that children just turn into better liars instead of becoming more truthful? Seems like the solution is fewer, but more absolute rules.

• School admissions: Not that you can do much about it, but school admissions tests nearly always test the wrong thing. This chapter is best given to your admissions counselor (but wait if they let your kid in, first).

• Siblings: How do you foster a good relationship between your children? Looks like the answer has a lot to do with having good times together.

• Teens: The good news here is that teen rebellion may not be as bad as we think. At least from our kid’s perspective. They are just learning to define themselves.

• Self-Control: What you should look for in your child’s preschool to teach her self-discipline early on. If you know a preschool that uses these principles, please note this in the comments.

• Social skills: If you are trying to get the aggressiveness out of your child, stop now!

• Language: Do not spend your money on Baby Einstein. It just does not work. But there are simple things you can do to accelerate language skills, like giving (tactile) feedback and using baby speak.

I do recommend you read this book. Or at least read the short summaries linked to above.